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VARITEK4PRESIDENT
07-19-2005, 01:22 AM
Ok so I'm on a search for the best Yankees Joke/Yankees Fan Joke. Let them rip!!!

I'll start with:

Your stuck in a room with a Lion and a Yankees fan. You have a gun with two bullets, which do you shoot?

The Yankees fan...........TWICE!!!!!! :lol: :harhar:

Sox fan in Tex
07-19-2005, 01:27 AM
Q. If you see a Yankees fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. There's a good chance it's your bicycle.

Moose
07-19-2005, 01:46 AM
Q: Why is it good to drive a car with a Yankee fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!

JeterWifey213
07-19-2005, 02:26 AM
LOL, I have seen these jokes online and they go both ways. There pretty funny though.

26 to 6
07-19-2005, 03:14 AM
Q: Why is it good to drive a car with a Yankee fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!
that was great....asshole

VARITEK4PRESIDENT
07-19-2005, 04:31 AM
Q: What do you get when you combine all 25 yankees with 25 lesbians?
A: Fifty people that dont do dick!!!!!!

Moose
07-19-2005, 12:45 PM
If YANKEESRULE and 26 to 6 jump off the Empire State Building, who will fall first?
* Who the fuck gives a shit? *

Youk Of The Nation
07-19-2005, 08:15 PM
A Boston Red Sox fan, a New York Mets fan, and New York Yankees fan were all in Saudi Arabia performing military duty for the U.S. Army. While off base, they were caught sharing a smuggled case of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia punishable by death!

With the help of good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, a benevolent Sheik decided that they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik said, "It's my wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each one of you one wish before your whipping."

The Mets fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Mets fan was carried away bleeding and crying.

The Yankees fan was up next (he had almost finished an entire fifth of alcohol by himself), and after watching the scene, said "Okay, please affix 2 pillows to my back."

But even 2 pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Yankee fan crying unbelievably.

The Red Sox fan was the last up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said "you support the greatest baseball team in the world. Your supporters are the best and most loyal fans in all the world. For this you may have TWO wishes'"

"Thanks, your most royal highness" the Red Sox fan replied." In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, powerful man, you are also very brave," said the Sheik. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish. What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.



















































"Tie the Yankees fan to my back." :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

PeskysPole49
07-19-2005, 08:17 PM
A Boston Red Sox fan, a New York Mets fan, and New York Yankees fan were all in Saudi Arabia performing military duty for the U.S. Army. While off base, they were caught sharing a smuggled case of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia punishable by death!

With the help of good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, a benevolent Sheik decided that they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik said, "It's my wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each one of you one wish before your whipping."

The Mets fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Mets fan was carried away bleeding and crying.

The Yankees fan was up next (he had almost finished an entire fifth of alcohol by himself), and after watching the scene, said "Okay, please affix 2 pillows to my back."

But even 2 pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Yankee fan crying unbelievably.

The Red Sox fan was the last up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said "you support the greatest baseball team in the world. Your supporters are the best and most loyal fans in all the world. For this you may have TWO wishes'"

"Thanks, your most royal highness" the Red Sox fan replied." In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, powerful man, you are also very brave," said the Sheik. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish. What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.



















































"Tie the Yankees fan to my back." :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
HAHAHA AWESOME

Youk Of The Nation
07-19-2005, 11:23 PM
HAHAHA AWESOME


Yeah, I love that one. Still not the funniest joke in the world, though.

The funniest one isnt even a Yankees joke.

BigPapiEnFuego
07-19-2005, 11:41 PM
Well this isin't a joke but its a quote that i found funny, i think its from bill lee and i am just paraphrasing it so i don't think this is the exact words, but he said "Every time i see a yankees hat i see a swastika a little off kelter"

Sizzlin22
07-20-2005, 12:14 AM
that was great....asshole
Once again learn to take a joke... asshole.

Q: Whats the difference between the Yankees and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking. (Also works as a blonde joke)

schillingouttheks
07-20-2005, 02:20 AM
Yeah, I've heard that blonde joke rofl.

yankeessuck013
07-20-2005, 06:41 AM
It's career day in elementry school where each student talks about what their dad does. Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Johnny comes to the front of the class.

'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sex acts on them.'

The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad.

Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for the Yankees.'

YankeeDoodle
07-20-2005, 02:12 PM
Not mine...obviously:

The Red Sox and The Yankees are on top of a cliff. They're fighting over which team is more devoted to their fans. So Jeter goes to the edge of the cliff and throws a million dollars off and says this will make one person happy. Then A-Rod goes and throws two million off and says this will make two people happy. Finally Johnny Damon goes up and pushes the Yankees off the cliff and says " this will make EVERYONE happy"

Don't push your potential teammates off that cliff! :lol:

ARod2212
07-20-2005, 04:16 PM
Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Rangers Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Rangers fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," said the reporter. "Yankees Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Yankees fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Rangers or Yankees. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Red Sox fan," the child replied. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Boston kills Beloved Family Pet."

JeterWifey213
07-20-2005, 04:21 PM
Can we post Red Sox jokes too? If so here is one:

Q: What do Derek Lowe's pitching and a spiderweb have in common?
A: One hit and they fall apart.

Q: Why is the monster green?
A: Envy from Yankee wins.

Q: Why does Stephen King go to Red Sox Games?
A: He likes horror stories.

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Boston Red Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Red Sox fans, too.

Not really knowing what a Red Sox fan was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd.

The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Red Sox fan."

"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"

"Why I'm proud to be a Yankees fan.", boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Yankees fan.

"Well, My Dad and Mom are Yankees fans, and I'm a Yankees fan, too!"

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be a Red Sox fan."

JohnnyDug
07-20-2005, 04:21 PM
Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Rangers Fan Saves Friend from Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Rangers fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in New York, I just assumed you were," said the reporter. "Yankees Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Yankees fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in New York was either for the Rangers or Yankees. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Red Sox fan," the child replied. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from Boston kills Beloved Family Pet."

heh, very unfunny. and killing animals is cruel anyway. i wrote a satire on euthanization of pets after attacks involving children. that boy probably provoked the dog anyhow.

BigPapiEnFuego
07-20-2005, 04:21 PM
LMAO!!! That was a good one Arod2212

Youk Of The Nation
07-20-2005, 04:26 PM
Ok so I'm on a search for the best Yankees Joke/Yankees Fan Joke

From the topic post.



Make a Red Sox joke thread, Ill be happy to look in and see without posting Yankees jokes in it. :)

JeterWifey213
07-20-2005, 04:30 PM
Sorry Youlk, * Goes to make a Red Sox joke thread*

therealsoxGM
08-01-2005, 08:17 PM
A Boston Red Sox fan, a New York Mets fan, and New York Yankees fan were all in Saudi Arabia performing military duty for the U.S. Army. While off base, they were caught sharing a smuggled case of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia punishable by death!

With the help of good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, a benevolent Sheik decided that they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik said, "It's my wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each one of you one wish before your whipping."

The Mets fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Mets fan was carried away bleeding and crying.

The Yankees fan was up next (he had almost finished an entire fifth of alcohol by himself), and after watching the scene, said "Okay, please affix 2 pillows to my back."

But even 2 pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Yankee fan crying unbelievably.

The Red Sox fan was the last up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said "you support the greatest baseball team in the world. Your supporters are the best and most loyal fans in all the world. For this you may have TWO wishes'"

"Thanks, your most royal highness" the Red Sox fan replied." In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, powerful man, you are also very brave," said the Sheik. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish. What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.



















































"Tie the Yankees fan to my back." :thumbsup: :thumbsup:



ha ha thats great :thumbsup:

element1151
08-01-2005, 08:28 PM
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Boston Red Sox fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Red Sox fans, too.
Not really knowing what a Red Sox fan was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Red Sox fan."
"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"Why I'm proud to be a Yankees fan.", boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Yankees fan.
"Well, My Dad and Mom are Yankees fans, and I'm a Yankees fan, too!"
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be a Red Sox fan."
If I hear this joke again, if it to make fun of the Red Sox or Yankees (I have heard both), I will kill myself.

Youk Of The Nation
08-03-2005, 02:18 AM
Aw, element, calm down and read my joke!

AgentAnni008
08-03-2005, 02:43 AM
1. what is the difference between the yankees and a buckett of shit?

...the buckett.

2. what is the difference between a yankee fan and a pot hole?

...i would swerve to avoid the pot hole.

snb988
08-04-2005, 05:47 PM
Don't push your potential teammates off that cliff! :lol:

:lol: Hey, you never know.

Well, here's one joke I've heard that is mildly amusing.


Q. What does the yankee jewelry box look like now?
A. 26 rings ... AND ONE BIG CHOKER

hey, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at, right?

stevece80
08-07-2005, 12:46 PM
What do you call a team that loses 4 straight after leading, with just 3 outs away from the World Series?

Yankees

BigPapiEnFuego
08-07-2005, 01:00 PM
lmao, that's simple but true and funny.

southpaw999
02-01-2012, 11:04 AM
A mother from Georgia and her young daughter were visiting New York City. The mother was trying to hail a taxi when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed Yankee women loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her taxi and they both climbed in. The daughter asks, “Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?” The mother replies, “Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work.”

The Yankee taxi driver, upon hearing this, turns to the mother and says, “Hey lady!!!! Tell your daughter the truth!!! They’re prostitutes!”

After a moment of silence, the daughter asks, “Mommy, do those ladies have any children?”

The mother replies, “Of course dear. Where do you think Yankee Taxi Drivers come from?”

kapsis21
02-07-2012, 10:51 AM
What do you call a team that loses 4 straight after leading, with just 3 outs away from the World Series?

Yankees

now that is a keeper.. :lol: