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Old 06-02-2008, 02:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
Sox Fan on Cape
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Default A Little Humor

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending a company party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack has to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thin g he sees is a couple of aspirin next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes theaspirin, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notice s a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red
with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

"Honey,
breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your
favorite dinner tonight.

I love you, darling!
Love, Wendy."


He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks,
"Son... what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind.
You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the
hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replied, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone; I'm married
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Old 06-02-2008, 02:35 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Little Humor

There is a new study about women and how they feel about
their asses, the results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their ass is too fat...
10% of women think their ass is too skinny...

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a
good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world.
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Old 06-02-2008, 02:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Little Humor

I have a sneaking suspicion you're either a woman or a really really good husband.
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Old 06-02-2008, 03:18 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Little Humor

His wife heard these at the hair salon. He lol'd and is now attempting to tell everyone he know.s
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Old 06-02-2008, 10:15 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Little Humor

Quote:
Originally Posted by yeszir View Post
I have a sneaking suspicion you're either a woman or a really really good husband.
That or he's pussy whipped beyond sanity...
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“What do they want from me? Since when is hitting 36 home runs and driving in 106 runs a bad season?” Incurred Patient’s wrath when I suggested that I could put up similar numbers if someone let me hit between Gary Sheffield and Hideki Matsui.
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Old 06-02-2008, 10:50 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper View Post
That or he's pussy whipped beyond sanity...
Shut your mouth, you
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Old 06-02-2008, 10:50 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Little Humor

Quote:
Originally Posted by yeszir View Post
Shut your mouth, you
Yes M'am.
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“What do they want from me? Since when is hitting 36 home runs and driving in 106 runs a bad season?” Incurred Patient’s wrath when I suggested that I could put up similar numbers if someone let me hit between Gary Sheffield and Hideki Matsui.
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Old 06-03-2008, 09:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: A Little Humor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thumper View Post
That or he's pussy whipped beyond sanity...
Quote:
Yes M'am.
Wow.

You really suck at humor.
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Funny isn't it??

I'm so bent right now guys so all I have to say is FUCK the Yankee-haters. 2008 AL East Champs will be the NY Yankees! Quote it, remember it, etch it in stone I don't give a shit we got this nigggasss!
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