Bill Simmons Book!

[RedSoxRooter]

I bought the new Bill Simmons book today. I have yet to read it though it looks great. I'll post quotes from the book as I go along...... sure to be funny.

Anyway, I figured I'd pass along some great stuff from his new column. Thank GOD he's back to posting regularly. I can totally make it through the offseason with treats like this:

BTW, this is only half the column. The whole deal is here http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...x?name=simmons

Three things made me feel better after the Red Sox season ended ...

1. It was refreshing to watch my baseball team get crushed in a playoff series, including two old-school Sox moments (Graffanino's error and the bases loaded/no outs/El Duque debacle), and not have to deal with announcers rehashing the Curse of the Bambino crap, high-fiving in the booth and showing 200 different replays of the Buckner Era. The boys didn't play well, the season ended, and that was that.

2. I didn't fully realize it until afterwards, but that was a particularly stressful Red Sox season: Foulke's unequivocal meltdown and subsequent Section 8; the collective demise of Bellhorn/Millar/Embree; Dale Sweum practically baiting Sox fans to pull a William Ligue Jr. on him; the neverending Manny soap opera; Pedro thriving in New York; Jay Payton's struggles (followed by his renaissance in Oakland); Schilling's painful-to-watch comeback, accompanied by the gradual realization that he wasn't the same pitcher anymore; the ongoing horror of watching a seemingly washed-up shortstop on the hook for $40 million through 2008; stiffs like Remlinger, Harville, Halama, Mantei, Neal and Gonzalez pitching in big spots; Clement falling apart after the Tampa game; Kapler's unfair achilles injury that abruptly ended his season; the Yankees turning things around with Small and Chacon (17-3 combined!); Mike Timlin (God bless him for pitching 81 games, by the way) trying to close games without the capability to pitch with guys on base; Varitek and Damon wearing down in September ... I mean, this had to be the least enjoyable 95-win season of all-time. In a weird way, part of me is glad that it's over.

3. The Yankees falling short in Anaheim, followed by the inevitable winter of good-natured A-Rod bashing. In fact, here's a sample from my mailbox last night:

I am just steaming right now and I have to get this off my chest. I'm a die hard Yankee fan, and I have to say one thing ... give Papi the MVP. While watching the bottom of the ninth as the Yanks trailed 5-3 tonight, the first 2 at bats completely summed up the values of Jeter and A-Rod to the Yankees as an organization, it was almost eerie. Maybe Jeter will never put up the numbers that A-Rod can put up over 162 games. But when the Yanks need a baserunner, he gets on base. A-Rod blew it. A-Rod vs Ortiz? Forget about it. This postseason I watched A-Rod's teammates play their guts out and A-Rod let them down. I also watched David Ortiz play his guts out, and his teammates let him down. There's a huge difference. Big Papi gets my vote.
-- David, New York, NY

Right now, somewhere in New York, a five-year-old kid is wondering if the Yankees will win a championship in his lifetime.
-- Dan Bock, Durham, N.C.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...HAHAHAHA...HAHA

HA...phew.

Oh, man. I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl.

I think you really need to devote a column to the A-Rod face. It's like little fairies came down from the heavens riding milk-white chariots, their only mission: to beat a look of disgust and pain on number thirteen's face -- a look so magical that you could bring it to Tiny Tim and he wouldn't be want for food or drink.

If you bottled it and sold it, hunger would be driven from the land. People would make it their mission to bring the A-Rod face to third world countries. They would hold it out infront of them, like Perseus holding Medusa's Head in "Clash of the Titans," and suddenly crippled children would jump up and dance and barren women would find out they were pregnant.

HAHA, OK, that's enough. I'm losing it.
-- Jim B., Boston, MA When the Yankees obtained A-Rod, I reacted like Richard Gere did in "Unfaithful" when he went to that French guys house and found out about his wife. As a lifelong Yankee fan I knew full well the difference between Roy White, Bucky Dent, Mickey Rivers, Thurmon Munson, Don Mattingly, Jim Leyritz, Paul O'Neil ... and A-Rod. A-Rod is a curse -- he left Seattle, they won 116 games ... he left Texas, they won a bunch of games ... he gets to NY and they blow a 3-0 lead to their archnemisis, something never done before ... until A-Rod arrived. The best thing that could've happened to the Yankees was to let Boston have A-Rod, wait a year, sign Beltran and make a real effort to retain Clemens, Pettitte and Wells. In the words of Richard Gere before he bashes the French guy's head in, "I think I'm going to be sick."
--Jason S, Phoenix, AZ

I just watched the Yankees lose Game 5 of the ALDS with my Yankee fan roommate. I love that THE BIGGEST CHOKE IN SPORTS HISTORY has forever changed the demeanor of Yankee fans. Usually they have that smug "you know they're gonna win this game somehow" look on their faces. But that has totally changed since last year's egg laying to the Sox. He was yelling things like "another fly ball? Good job Popsui," and "Nice weak throw to the plate Giambi, should've juiced up before the game," and my favorite "effin' A-Rod! A bazillion dollars a year and he grounds into a double play in the 9th, he sucks ... him and his purple lips." Have you experienced the NEW Yankee fan or am I alone on this one?
--Chris M., Newton, MA

I was all for the A-Rod for MVP thing during the regular season. I was blinded by the whole playing the field argument and gave his defensive play too much weight. The breakdown should be somewhere around 99% batting and 1% based of fielding performance. That being said, I can't imagine that there is a single Yankee fan out there that would have rather had A-Rod hitting in the top of the 9th last night instead of Papi. Even with the same results I would have felt a lot better having Papi batting in that situation. Am I being too critical on a guy that hit 2 for 15 in the postseason this year? I don't think so. Papi won the MVP last night.
-- Royce, New York, NY

I'm at Game 5 of the ALDS and it's headed to the top of the ninth with the Angels up 5-3. I see Jeter, A-Rod and Giambi are coming up for the Yankees against K-Rod and I turn to my buddies I'm at the game with (one of which is a Red Sox fan, the other of which is just a Yankee hater) and tell them, "10 bucks says Jeter gets on to bring up the tying run and then A-Rod (screws) it up."

Right on cue, Jeter singled and A-Rod hit into a double play. In hindsight, it was probably the least bold proclamation I've ever made. It's uncanny the way Mr. Quarter-Billion seems to only be able to hit when the game has long since been decided.
--Chirag D., Los Angeles, CA

As I sit here just completely unable to fathom how a team could lose their starting pitcher in the 2nd inning to an injury, give up 2 runs in that same inning, and still come back against the "dreaded" Yankees, I just can't sleep because it makes me sick. See I'm a Yankee fan. I went through high school and college watching Jeter, O'Neill, Bernie, Tino, Sojo (had to throw him in there), Mariano, Pettitte, etc. come through time and time again in clutch situations.

I'm just telling you that as a Yankee fan, we are starting to turn on some of our players brought in to win the big games for us ... more specifically A-Rod. Let's forget the fact that he was 2 for whatever in the series for a second and take a look at the last two times around the order. In the 7th, with the Yanks down 5-2, Jeter comes up and smacks a shot over the center field fence to cut the lead to 2 ... typical October Jeter stuff. A-Rod comes up with some momentum on his side and weakly grounds out to shortstop. Now we head toward the 9th with the score still 5-3. Jeter leads it off with a frozen rope hit to left for a single. You just knew Jeter was getting on. I think Angel fans knew Jeter was getting on. So now A-Rod has his guy on first base. He's gotta do something, right? Nope ... 5-4-3 double play. And the thing is ... I knew it was coming as a Yankee fan. Should I have been sitting there hoping that my MVP candidate doesn't ground out into a double play? No ... I should have been hoping he could get on and keep the rally going. Instead, I found myself thinking things like "Just get it in the air A-Rod" or even "If he strikes out, at least there will still be only 1 out." This is my supposed MVP candidate. We got rid of Soriano because of his ineptitude in the postseason in 2003 to get A-Rod, but he clearly isn't the answer. I guess what I'm saying is that after watching that series ... as a Yankee fan ... Ortiz gets my MVP vote.

(I can't believe I just typed that last sentence, but it's so true)
--Mike L., Chevy Chase, MD

[yankeessuck013]

Right now, somewhere in New York, a five-year-old kid is wondering if the Yankees will win a championship in his lifetime.
-- Dan Bock, Durham, N.C.

that just made my day, I think I'll tape it to my locker at school

I was all for the A-Rod for MVP thing during the regular season. I was blinded by the whole playing the field argument and gave his defensive play too much weight. The breakdown should be somewhere around 99% batting and 1% based of fielding performance. That being said, I can't imagine that there is a single Yankee fan out there that would have rather had A-Rod hitting in the top of the 9th last night instead of Papi. Even with the same results I would have felt a lot better having Papi batting in that situation. Am I being too critical on a guy that hit 2 for 15 in the postseason this year? I don't think so. Papi won the MVP last night.
-- Royce, New York, NY

smart guy

[RedSoxRooter]

lol. I already grabbed that one for my sig.