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Thread: Worst Dates

  1. #1

    Worst Dates

    Well I had pretty much had the worst date I have ever been on, today. Well she was all about herself(strike one), when we had lunch she chewed with her mouth wide open(strike two), she couldn't stop talking about her ex not a huge deal but, and the third strike was she expected me to pay for lunch and when I said we split the bill she said "oh I left my wallet at home." which I found out later was a lie because she bought herself new Ugg boots. (Strike Three) Being Lied to is one of my pet peeves.

    So After being on the worst date in my lifetime i was wondering what is the worst date you have ever been on?
    "People always ask me if I wish I were bigger. I tell them no. I always wanted to be a miniature badass." Dustin Pedroia

  2. #2

    Re: Worst Dates

    Ohhhhh boy... I have been on some really, really bad dates.

    Guy who asks, no seriously, literally ASKS me: "what are the odds I get in your pants?". Yeah, "STEEEEEEEEEEEERIKE 1-2-3 YOU'RE OOOUUUUTTT!!!".

    The guy with the bad hygiene. (You could use a little *Does the Old Spice Whistle*)

    The guy with the throbbing boner ("Is this a stick-up?")

    The guy with the nasty-smelly-shitty car (The vinyl seats are just an added bonus, as are the McDonalds bags).

    The guy who came to "pick me up" on his bike. (No not a Harley Davidson, a fucking Schwinn.)

    The guy who asks the awkward questions. ("Hey, how many babies do you wanna have?", "Do you think I'll make a good father?")

    And of course, who could forget, the guy who seems normal, maybe he's the one? Maybe? But then when you're about to give him the kiss goodnight, you hear something... *BRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHTTTT....EEEEEK*. Yes, the moment-killing-farter.
    Quote Originally Posted by Youk Of The Nation View Post
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  3. #3

    Re: Worst Dates

    Quote Originally Posted by Emmz;513213;
    Ohhhhh boy... I have been on some really, really bad dates.

    Guy who asks, no seriously, literally ASKS me: "what are the odds I get in your pants?". Yeah, "STEEEEEEEEEEEERIKE 1-2-3 YOU'RE OOOUUUUTTT!!!".

    The guy with the bad hygiene. (You could use a little *Does the Old Spice Whistle*)

    The guy with the throbbing boner ("Is this a stick-up?")

    The guy with the nasty-smelly-shitty car (The vinyl seats are just an added bonus, as are the McDonalds bags).

    The guy who came to "pick me up" on his bike. (No not a Harley Davidson, a fucking Schwinn.)

    The guy who asks the awkward questions. ("Hey, how many babies do you wanna have?", "Do you think I'll make a good father?")

    And of course, who could forget, the guy who seems normal, maybe he's the one? Maybe? But then when you're about to give him the kiss goodnight, you hear something... *BRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHTTTT....EEEEEK*. Yes, the moment-killing-farter.
    Will you please stop describing me.
    "People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." - Rogers Hornsby

  4. #4

    Re: Worst Dates

    :lol:

    Excellent.
    Quote Originally Posted by Youk Of The Nation View Post
    We're sorry, your search for "Fucks Given By Koji Uehara" did not return any results

  5. #5

    Re: Worst Dates

    Quote Originally Posted by Emmz;513213;
    Ohhhhh boy... I have been on some really, really bad dates.

    Guy who asks, no seriously, literally ASKS me: "what are the odds I get in your pants?". Yeah, "STEEEEEEEEEEEERIKE 1-2-3 YOU'RE OOOUUUUTTT!!!".

    The guy with the bad hygiene. (You could use a little *Does the Old Spice Whistle*)

    The guy with the throbbing boner ("Is this a stick-up?")

    The guy with the nasty-smelly-shitty car (The vinyl seats are just an added bonus, as are the McDonalds bags).

    The guy who came to "pick me up" on his bike. (No not a Harley Davidson, a fucking Schwinn.)

    The guy who asks the awkward questions. ("Hey, how many babies do you wanna have?", "Do you think I'll make a good father?")

    And of course, who could forget, the guy who seems normal, maybe he's the one? Maybe? But then when you're about to give him the kiss goodnight, you hear something... *BRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHTTTT....EEEEEK*. Yes, the moment-killing-farter.
    Its called the intsa boner. lol

    Was it a nice bike. Bike made for two?

    Weird questions hold off until like date 3 or more. not the first.

    Reminds me of the part in Step Brothers where the John C. Reily farts in the little room on the interview with Seth Rogan.
    "People always ask me if I wish I were bigger. I tell them no. I always wanted to be a miniature badass." Dustin Pedroia

  6. #6

    Re: Worst Dates

    And then the Tuxedos seem a little fucked up after that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Youk Of The Nation View Post
    We're sorry, your search for "Fucks Given By Koji Uehara" did not return any results

  7. #7

    Re: Worst Dates

    Quote Originally Posted by CanadianSox;513217;
    Will you please stop describing me.
    Btw, Mr. T, what level is your Night Elf Mohawk?
    Quote Originally Posted by Youk Of The Nation View Post
    We're sorry, your search for "Fucks Given By Koji Uehara" did not return any results

  8. #8

    Re: Worst Dates

    Quote Originally Posted by Emmz;513213;
    Ohhhhh boy... I have been on some really, really bad dates.

    Guy who asks, no seriously, literally ASKS me: "what are the odds I get in your pants?". Yeah, "STEEEEEEEEEEEERIKE 1-2-3 YOU'RE OOOUUUUTTT!!!".
    What a fool! If there were odds on such things, there would be Vegas and Internet betting lines. You should have told him the odds were 3 to 1 in favor of it and asked him what he was willing to wager. After placing the wager, you could have told him that he lost and kept the money.

    My personal favorite was the girl who wanted to kiss after throwing up. There were a few of those. I usually made them take a shot of Vodka with a water chaser to clean her up first. At the first sign of any abdominal twitch or spasm, you had to be prepared to abort the mission, duck and cover.
    The King of TalkSox has Spoken.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmi View Post
    This is true. Baseball is such a random sport.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dojji View Post
    [T]he conclusion to be drawn is that there is no practical value in seeking this ideal lineup, and in that case any way in which it might be meaningfully termed "best" is irrelevant, academic at best, pedantic at worst

  9. #9

    Re: Worst Dates

    Haha once I was set up for a blind date... the girl turned out to be my ex from high school, and it was a nasty break up
    "See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences?"

  10. #10

    Re: Worst Dates

    I don't have much to contribute on a "worst dates" thread, but if there was a "worst drunken hookups" thread...

  11. #11

    Re: Worst Dates

    Quote Originally Posted by italstallianion;513371;
    I don't have much to contribute on a "worst dates" thread, but if there was a "worst drunken hookups" thread...
    Ugh......i'll second this one.

  12. #12

    Re: Worst Dates

    Quote Originally Posted by riverside sluggers;513370;
    Haha once I was set up for a blind date... the girl turned out to be my ex from high school, and it was a nasty break up
    Holy Jesus, that doesn't sound good at all.
    Quote Originally Posted by Youk Of The Nation View Post
    We're sorry, your search for "Fucks Given By Koji Uehara" did not return any results

  13. #13

    Re: Worst Dates

    I went on a date once, and when the girl refused to let me choke her and stab her, I got really pissed off. I mean, seriously. What a bitch.


  14. #14

    Re: Worst Dates

    Quote Originally Posted by Youk Of The Nation;513444;
    I went on a date once, and when the girl refused to let me choke her and stab her, I got really pissed off. I mean, seriously. What a bitch.
    WTF :lol:

  15. #15

    Re: Worst Dates

    Quote Originally Posted by Youk Of The Nation;513444;
    I went on a date once, and when the girl refused to let me choke her and stab her, I got really pissed off. I mean, seriously. What a bitch.
    Did you end up choking/stabbing her anyways?
    Quote Originally Posted by Youk Of The Nation View Post
    We're sorry, your search for "Fucks Given By Koji Uehara" did not return any results

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