Alright, alright, alright. These blowholes we're forced to call the Rays are limping into Fenway Park just how we like it. After taking care of business down in their shithole ballpark in greater Tampon Bay, taking two of three from Satan themselves, then 3 of 4 from Toronto's least favorite sports team (their only win this season), they go to New Yahk and get swept by those same Satanic individuals. Now, on this double holiday weekend, they come here for 4. Kevin "Cash Me Ousside How Bow Dah" thinks he knows what he's doing as manager, but both him and his pitching coach, Jim "I got a massive Hickey" are clueless fuck faces. What other team would start Kevin Queermaier, Brad "I'm too much of a douche to wear batting gloves" Miller, and Evan "I only act like a dick because I don't give any" Longoria and pretend to contend. Let's knock these fakers out of the water.
RHP Chris "Every time I face the Red Sox I lose and it makes me want to cry to my mommy" Archer (1-0, 2.45) vs RHP Rick "Oh my god, these fuckers made me wait for my 20th win last year... Now it's time for payback" Porcello (1-0, 4.38)
If you didn't get the Kevin Cash reference, it's a popular meme among us young folk. The inspiration can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmAUMhQ9puo