Big Dick Rick and his massive dick will be taking on a guy by the name of Parker Bidwell. He sounds like the name of a douchy kid in a 1990s sitcom, I bet he would date Stephanie Tanner.
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1st game thread of the season for me. Lets win this for my favorite pitcher! (David, Chris, Eduardo just don't rhyme with a word like dick, and Drew and Jew just doesn't seem ethical as a nickname)