The Insult Thread

[Gom]

In honor of the recently closed thread...

I've been insulted before here...and insulted. However, recently I tried to get one past you Red Sox fans when you booed Manny, by saying that shit wouldn't happen in New York.

ORS caught me with my pants down, reminding me of when the Yankee fans booed Jeter.

His quote:

Bullshit, you stupid cockpumper.
is my all-time TalkSox favorite insult [one that I haven't actually stated myself]. I still laugh at it.

So...feel free to post your all-time favorite insults from Talksox here, whether you gave, received, or just plain observed...and laughed your ass off. Give us a little background if you can.

[See Red]

My favorite has permanent placement in my sig, and was by a700hitter towards Jacko. I'll post it for those who have sigs turned off.


...and if you were Jeffrey Maier's mother's OBGyn, the Yankees would have one less Championship.

It's great because it takes a dig at Jacko being a shitty doctor and at the Yankees catching yet another break... though they won that series 4-1, I believe, so it's not entirely true.

[Jacoby_Ellsbury]

I observed one of my classmates calling another one a 'donkey-raping shit eater'. I thought that was hilarious.


Not from talksox, but oh well...

[schillingouttheks]

None stick out from the board that I can think of, but I was pissed off at a kid because he took the salt from the cafeteria table and poured an abundance of salt all over my lunch.

I proceeded to tell him that he was the cum shot his mom should have swallowed. That got him to stop laughing quickly.

[Jacoby_Ellsbury]

None stick out from the board that I can think of, but I was pissed off at a kid because he took the salt from the cafeteria table and poured an abundance of salt all over my lunch.

I proceeded to tell him that he was the cum shot his mom should have swallowed. That got him to stop laughing quickly.
That reminds me of Carlos Mencia saying 'some of you idiots should have been swallowed at birth' at one of his shows.

[Youk Of The Nation]

Im sure if we compiled a top 10 Talksox insult list, one would be mine, one YesZirs, one ORS's, and seven Crespos'.

[Gom]

How are all of my insults not cracking the top 10? Blasphemy.

[yeszir]

The two mentioned in the first two posts are definitely up there. :lol:

[Soxfan#1]

Crespo and Yankshater had their days with me.

Yankeehater incident is an obvious too.

[Rdsxmbnt]

exact quotes people

[Gom]

Gom you couldn't hit the funny if you showed up at the special ed class with a bubble machine.I laugh every time I read this.

[Jacoby_Ellsbury]

1995-1999 sport. I was in 3rd Battalion...Platoon #3074. I just edited my Senior DI's name out..no need for names..but you caught it anyway. seniro drill instructor? It is called typo fuckwad. That little PRETEND bootcamp the cops go through is a joke. I have no clue on earth where you got 1978? 1st Battalion's numbers start with a 1..2nd...with a 2..and so on.. I think the 74 on the end is the # of platoon in terms of the order in which it was begun that calendar year..eg the 1st platoon would be either 1st, 2nd, or 3rd battalion ..1001, 2001, 3001.. Honestly, you really have no clue what the fuck you are talking about. I bet you GOOGLED 3rd Battalion 3074! HAHAHAz! You fuggin idiot! HAHAHA! OH YES!!! Wait, could you actually be this stupid? Oh shit, you are too fucking stupid to live!!!!...You should literally-- be put to sleep..Captain Caveman! Of course there was a 3074 in 1978! I assume every year there are at least 74 platoons! Oh man you are a fucking dullard!



And YES, everything I have said is 100% accurate.. unless I was wrong about you.



Besides being to stupid to fucking breathe... you are a fuggin liar to boot...saying I edited everything out of my post...a name bitch..one fuggin name is all I omitted. Does your head hurt when trying to concoct such utter malarkey you simple-twit?


That entire exchange was bar none the funniest thing I've ever read on this site.

[Dipre]

That entire exchange was bar none the funniest thing I've ever read on this site.

Indeed, i thought JimEd was gonna go over to SCM33's house and kill him.

[Dipre]

So you use gay lines, hit on underage girls, make cheesy threads, and then attack my ability to acquire a green card.

Couple things about that:

A) I always have the option to reach the U.S on a floating door and then use your gardening services to mow the lawn on my new apartment.

B ) Cheesy pickup lines are dull, therefore, so are you.

C) You need some new material, you're seriously not challenging my genius here, gay phrase boy.

He refuses to admit it, but i pwn3d him in that exchange and he knows it.

[Thumper]

I think this is my favorite...


OK, you mangey mother humpa, I'll give it a go.

(listening...listening...laughing...at you, not with you...listening...ok, done, my critique follows)

(1) Lyrics refer to an afternoon game when Crisp rushed the mound...it was a night game you fkn douche!

(2) Lyrics state Coco was brushed back...he was hit in the leg you fucking retard

(3) :57 seconds in, speaking of Coco..."he charged the mound and sucker punched him in the face" WRONG! He charged the mound, ducked the pitcher's punch and may have glanced a blow off the guy, but not CLOSE to a SUCKER PUNCH.

By about 1:30 on I could stand no more. On top of being just plain wrong there were some severe musical shortcomings:

(1) One singer sounds like Alvin of the Chipmunks...other one sounds like he's dropping a deuce while singing.
(2) Guitar is out of tune.
(3) Drummer blows.
(4) The guitar solo is horrendous...I know quadrapalegics that could do better.

So here's the skinny you talentless fuck...you didn't do your homework, you guys have no friggin talent and you're a troll. Pretty sad when fuckin Donny and Marie are the best musical representation from your state (I know those two were doing it...I just know it). So go eat of bag of dicks, but before doing so let me leave you with some commentary on Utah:

Q: How do you get a U. of Utah grad off your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: What do you call a Utah resident with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q:What do you call an intelligent person in Cougar Stadium?
A: A visitor.

Q: What does a Ute student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.

Now why don't you back to the Jickets and whip you're skippy to Sally Hansen in your "Davey and Goliath" activity book, ya shit stain.

[Jacoby_Ellsbury]

Indeed, i thought JimEd was gonna go over to SCM33's house and kill him.
Vice-versa, in my book, I think SCM33 wanted a piece of him.


I don't know how many new words I learned while reading that. At least 6.