A Few Yucks

[Sox Fan on Cape]

Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.


Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.


Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever.

Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.

Q. Jewish dilemma:
A. Free PORK.

Q. How can you tell which is the head nurse?
A. The one with the dirty knees.

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side

Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who
has the biggest tits?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.

Q. Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A. Because their balls fall over their asshole and they vapour-lock.

Q. The three words most hated by men during sex?
A. "Are you In?" or "Is It In?"

Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sex?
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

[BigPapiEnFuego]

hahaha oh wow!

[Sox Fan on Cape]

Union Man


A dedicated union steel worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, decided to make a side trip to the famous brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the madam, "Is this a union house?"

“No," she replied, "It isn't."

"Well,” the union man inquired, “if I pay you $100, what cut do the ladies get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.
equitable—and hopefully union—shop. His search continued until he reached a brothel where the madam proudly informed him, "Yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "If I pay you $100, what cut do the ladies get?"

The madam replied, “The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said. He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive young woman. “I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the madam. Then she gestured to an old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 53 years seniority and she's next."

[Sox Fan on Cape]

3 African Men

A couple is attending an Art exhibit and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts 3 very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; 2 have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis.

As the couple is looking somewhat puzzled at the picture, the Irish artist walks by and says, "Can I help you with this painting? I'm the artist who painted it."

The man says "Well, we like the painting but don't understand why you have 3 African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis, while the other two have a black penis."

The Irish artist says, "Oh you are misinterpreting the painting.

They're not African men, they are Irish coal miners and the one in the middle went home for lunch."

[Sox Fan on Cape]

Facts of life


There was a father and his little boy that went into a local drug store to pick up a prescription. While in the store the little boy was looking around and came upon a rather large display for condoms. The little boy looked at all the brightly colored packages and the different types and the different quantities.

The little boy went to his father and asked "Daddy, what are these condoms?"

The father, stuttered, and said "Well, they are for protection from diseases when a man and a woman make love."

The little boy contemplated the concept for a few moments and then asked "Then, why do these come in a package of three?"

The father coyly answered "Those are for young men in high school. One for Friday night, one for Saturday night and one for Sunday afternoon."

"UH-HUH" said the little boy, "then why are these in packages of six?"

The father smirked "Those are for young men in college. There are two for Friday night, two for Saturday night and two for Sunday afternoon."

"WOW" said the little boy in amazement. He then asked "Well, then why are these packaged a dozen at a time?"

The father answered "Those, my son, are for married men. One for January, one for February..."

[Sox Fan on Cape]

Fireman


A fireman comes home from work and is all excited. He just can’t wait to tell his wife the good news about a new system that they have down at the station.

"Honey!" he says, "you’re not going to believe this! Down at the station we have this new system and it’s so great.

When Bell #1 goes off we put on all our gear.

When Bell #2 goes off we slide down the pole and jump in the fire truck.

When Bell #3 goes off we speed to the fire in the fire truck." He excitedly tells his wife.

Triumphantly he says, We’re going to do the same thing for our sex life!

When Bell #1 goes off we are going to strip naked.

When Bell #2 goes off we will jump into bed.

When Bell #3 goes off we will screw our brains out.

Let’s give a test run. OK, ready? "Bell #1!" (they strip naked)

"Bell #2!" (they hop into bed)

"Bell #3!" (they start screwing there brains out)

A couple of minutes later the wife starts screaming "Oh, Bell #4! Bell #4!".

The husband confused says,"Bell #4, What’s that?"

The wife screams "More hose! More hose! Your not reaching the fire!!!"

[Sox Fan on Cape]

Go Team


A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest.

"How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.

"Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest.

"Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.

"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?"

[CrespoBlows]

Union Man


A dedicated union steel worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, decided to make a side trip to the famous brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the madam, "Is this a union house?"

“No," she replied, "It isn't."

"Well,” the union man inquired, “if I pay you $100, what cut do the ladies get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.
equitable—and hopefully union—shop. His search continued until he reached a brothel where the madam proudly informed him, "Yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "If I pay you $100, what cut do the ladies get?"

The madam replied, “The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said. He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room and pointed to a stunningly attractive young woman. “I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the madam. Then she gestured to an old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 53 years seniority and she's next."

:lol:

[Sox Fan on Cape]

Who Shot That Beaver

The 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better I have an 18 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said,"I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.

When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream.

He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead.

"What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly".