sbloombe
04-08-2007, 09:16 PM
Hey guys,
Here's a preview of my Simmons "Mailbag" parody. Thought Bostonians/New Englanders would enjoy it...
Incase you haven't heard yet, popular ESPN writer/former independent blogger Bill Simmons signed a contract to keep him with ESPN through 2010. The contract includes time off to write another book and helping to develop TV shows. When asked to comment on his new book, Simmons said, "I'm not sure on the exact subject matter, but it will undoubtedly be a 250 page gushing orgasm over the Redsox." The TV shows Simmons helps to develop will be mostly sport documentaries and fantasy sports related programming. ESPN will likely air the programs on ESPN 8, "The Ocho".
Most importantly, Simmons new contract calls for him to temporarily hand production of his "mailbag" columns over to me. So, I've spent the past 4,796 hours sifting through his emails.
As always, these are fake emails written by fake readers.
When are you going to stop writing about announcers? Haven't you realized that nobody cares yet? - Jason, Pheonix AZ
Jason,
I'll try to pass that thought along to Bill. My best guess is that he was hypnotized by Dan Shulman and Al Michaels into bashing all of their competition. Somebody needs to figure out the code phrase, event sequence, or clap pattern nessicary to get him out of this hypnotic state. Maybe then he'll focus on real sports, instead of just bashing announcers.
Oh, and no, he hasn't realized that nobody cares yet.
Have you seen the commerical for the new prescription drug to cure mega PMS? Only they're not calling it a bad case of PMS, they're calling it PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder). -Sam, Forest Village, MD
As a matter of fact I have. Not only is it a ridiculous attempt to extract money from every woman in America, but it is one of the most awful commercials I've ever seen. What's up with all of these prescription commericals where a person is trying to casually explain the risks and side-effects of a drug to all their friends? Like that ever happens to come up in conversation.
"Hey Johnny, have you ever heard of (insert prescription pill)."
"No Sally, I haven't"
"Oh, well it's great for hemroids, but it's side effects include nose bleeds, sore throat, ear infections, poor bladder control, intenstinal bleeding, and chapped lips. Also, if you are pregnant or at risk of a heart attack, you should not take (insert prescription pill)."
"Sally, are you trying to tell me that you have hemroids?"
(Akward silence.)
Read the rest at sportblognow.blogspot.com
-Scott
Here's a preview of my Simmons "Mailbag" parody. Thought Bostonians/New Englanders would enjoy it...
Incase you haven't heard yet, popular ESPN writer/former independent blogger Bill Simmons signed a contract to keep him with ESPN through 2010. The contract includes time off to write another book and helping to develop TV shows. When asked to comment on his new book, Simmons said, "I'm not sure on the exact subject matter, but it will undoubtedly be a 250 page gushing orgasm over the Redsox." The TV shows Simmons helps to develop will be mostly sport documentaries and fantasy sports related programming. ESPN will likely air the programs on ESPN 8, "The Ocho".
Most importantly, Simmons new contract calls for him to temporarily hand production of his "mailbag" columns over to me. So, I've spent the past 4,796 hours sifting through his emails.
As always, these are fake emails written by fake readers.
When are you going to stop writing about announcers? Haven't you realized that nobody cares yet? - Jason, Pheonix AZ
Jason,
I'll try to pass that thought along to Bill. My best guess is that he was hypnotized by Dan Shulman and Al Michaels into bashing all of their competition. Somebody needs to figure out the code phrase, event sequence, or clap pattern nessicary to get him out of this hypnotic state. Maybe then he'll focus on real sports, instead of just bashing announcers.
Oh, and no, he hasn't realized that nobody cares yet.
Have you seen the commerical for the new prescription drug to cure mega PMS? Only they're not calling it a bad case of PMS, they're calling it PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder). -Sam, Forest Village, MD
As a matter of fact I have. Not only is it a ridiculous attempt to extract money from every woman in America, but it is one of the most awful commercials I've ever seen. What's up with all of these prescription commericals where a person is trying to casually explain the risks and side-effects of a drug to all their friends? Like that ever happens to come up in conversation.
"Hey Johnny, have you ever heard of (insert prescription pill)."
"No Sally, I haven't"
"Oh, well it's great for hemroids, but it's side effects include nose bleeds, sore throat, ear infections, poor bladder control, intenstinal bleeding, and chapped lips. Also, if you are pregnant or at risk of a heart attack, you should not take (insert prescription pill)."
"Sally, are you trying to tell me that you have hemroids?"
(Akward silence.)
Read the rest at sportblognow.blogspot.com
-Scott